What’s In It For Me?
Do you feel stuck in life or frustrated because something is holding you back? Based on timeless philosophical principles from Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius and other historical examples, The Obstacle Is The Way describes how our biggest setbacks in life can pave the path for our greatest triumphs.
The Big Idea
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Marcus Aurelius, The Obstacle Is The Way p. Xiv
Overcoming obstacles consists of three critical steps: It begins with 1) how we look at specific problems (i.e. our attitude or approach); 2) the energy or creativity that we use to break down our problems and turn them into opportunities; 3) the cultivation of an inner will that allows us to handle defeat and setbacks.
Throughout human history, adversity and struggle have been a constant challenge every human being has had to face. Contrary to how we may feel at the time, obstacles should be embraced because they are actually opportunities to test ourselves, try new things, and ultimately triumph and grow. The world is constantly testing us, asking questions such as: Are you worthy? Can you get past the things that fall in your way? Will you stand up and show the world what you are made of? This book will show you how to thrive and rally at these challenges.
Key Concept #1
Perception
“You will come across obstacles in life—fair and unfair. And you will discover, time and again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure.” The Obstacle Is The Way p. 16
Human brains have evolved from an environment very different than the one we are currently living in. As a result, we carry biological baggage that can get in the way, such as the fight or flight responses that kicks in when you are public speaking. Fortunately we have a choice on how we respond to any situation. We can be blindly led by primal feelings or we can understand them and learn to filter them. Discipline in perception lets you clearly see the advantage and the proper course of action in every situation. The book offers some guidance on what to focus on when faced with a seemingly insurmountable obstacle:
Be Objective
Control emotions and keep an even keel
Choose to see the good in every situation
Steady your nerves
Ignore what disturbs or limits others
Place things in perspective
Revert to the present moment
Focus on what can be controlled
(The Obstacle Is The Way p. 18)
The book describes the famous story of Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, a top boxer of the 1960s who was wrongly accused of a triple homicide. Instead of breaking down, as most anyone would in that situation, Carter recognized the power he still had and declined to surrender the freedoms that were innately his: his attitude, his beliefs, his choices. Even though his physical freedom had been taken from him, Carter maintained that he still had choices, choices that could not be taken from him. Of course he was still furious about what had happened to him, but he understand that anger was not productive. It took 19 years and two trials to overturn the verdict, but when Carter walked out of prison a free man he simply resumed to normal life. Carter did not even request an apology from the court because to him, that would imply they had taken something from him.
Key Concept #2
Live In The Present and Take Action
Half of the companies in the Fortune 500 were started during a bear market or recession. The author uses this fact to make a point that most people or businesses start with a disadvantage, often not realizing they are doing so. Those that survive have the mentality of taking things day by day.
The implications of an obstacle are theoretical; they exist in the past and the future. We can live in the moment, and the more we embrace that, the easier the obstacle will be to move. In fact, you can use the trouble you are dealing with as a reminder to focus on the present moment. If you don’t make any predictions about the future, you won’t waste time worrying if the future will conform to your predictions. Living in the present is easier said then done, but the author gives some tips to help keep your mind in the present moment: strenuous exercise, a walk in the park, meditation, and unplugging from your technology. Focus on what is in front of you right now.
Anyone can take action, but taking the right action, directed action, is what is necessary to overcome obstacles. Deliberation, boldness, and persistence are the attributes that define effective action.
Amelia Earhart wanted to be a great aviator, but in the 1920s, it was against societal norms for women to be pilots. Instead, she took a job as a social worker. Then one day the phone rang, and the man on the line had a arguably offensive proposition for Amelia: Someone was willing to fund the first female transatlantic flight, their first choice had backed out, and they needed a women to be in the plane, although two men would actually be flying it. Amelia Earhart agreed. The point is that even though the conditions were not perfect, people who accomplish great things are willing to start anywhere, as long as it gets them moving in the right direction. Less than five years later, Earhart became the first woman to fly solo non-stop across the Atlantic.
Key Concept #3
Change Your Relationship With Failure
Failure is the preceding feature of nearly all success. In Silicon Valley, start-ups don’t launch with a polished finished product. Instead, they release their minimum viable product (MVP), which is the most basic version of their idea. The idea is to initially see how customers respond, and if it is not well, then to fail cheaply and quickly.
Contrary to what our initial instincts may tell us, failure really can be an asset if we are trying to learn, improve, or do something new. Problems become opportunities. In the MVP model, products get stronger by failure because they drop features that don’t work or customers don’t find appealing. In life, it can be helpful to view yourself like a start-up, and that means changing your relationship with failure. On the path to successful action, failure is likely to occur many times. It is important to keep in mind that failure and action are two sides of the same coin. When failure occurs, ask yourself what went wrong and what could be improved? Great entrepreneurs are:
*never wedded to a position
*never afraid to lose a little of their investment
*never bitter or embarrassed
*never out of the game for long
The author is not claiming that failure shouldn’t hurt. Of course it does, but it is important to acknowledge that temporary failure certainly hurts less than catastrophic, permanent failure. It is important to understand that the world is telling you something with each and every failure and action. Listen to the feedback that its giving you.
Key Concept #4
Follow The Process
“Replace fear with the process. Depend on it. Lean on it. Trust in it.” The Obstacle Is The Way p. 92
One of the most successful college football coaches of all time is the University of Alabama coach Nick Saban. Coach Saban preaches “The Process”, which simply means instead of focusing on the big goal (i.e. win the national championship), break it down into small pieces and focus on the task at hand (i.e. this current practice drill). By simply focusing on what you need to do right now, and by doing it well, and then moving on to the next thing, it will eventually put you in position to accomplish your goal. Even seemingly mammoth tasks become just a series of component parts when you follow the process.
Remember the first time you saw a complicated algebraic equation in school? It was a mess of symbols and unknowns. But if you isolated the variables and solved for them, the answer was staring you in the face. This same concept can be applied to obstacles in life. Our human nature tends to panic and think the problem cannot be solved, but if you break it down into small pieces and follow a process, suddenly an unsolvable problem has a solution. People often put their life goals on hold because they seem too big. If your goal is to write a book, the tasks seems so insurmountable that few even start. But if instead you made it a goal of writing at least 500 words a day, over time you would be well on your way to writing that book. Humans tend to be A-to-Z thinkers, focusing on A and worrying about Z, but forgetting B through Y.
It is helpful to have goals because goals help put the obstacles into perspective. When you know what you are setting out to do, the obstacles that arise seem smaller and more manageable.
Key Concept #5
Will
What is will? Will is your internal power, which can never be impacted by the outside world. Will power can be cultivated by turning a seemingly negative situation into a positive one. Many people think that will is how bad we want something. The author argues that will has more to do with surrender than with strength. True will is “quiet humility, resilience, and flexibility; the other kind of will is weakness disguised by bluster and ambition.” The Obstacle Is The Way p. 125
Because of this mythical legend, most people are unaware that Abraham Lincoln battled crippling depression his entire life. Known as melancholy at the time, his often debilitating depression drove him to suicide on two separate occasion. Lincoln’s life was defined by enduring difficulty. He grew up in rural poverty, lost his mother while he was still a child, and lost the woman he loved as a young man. And he had to deal with the bouts of depression, which at the time were not understood by the medical community. Lincoln’s personal challenges were so great that he believed they were destined for him in some way, that they were a unique experience that prepared him for greater things. For most of Lincoln’s political career, slavery was a dark cloud that engulfed the entire nation, but it came to be that every quality produced by Lincoln’s personal journey was exactly what was required to lead the nation through its own journey and trial. “Lincoln’s words went to the people’s hearts because they came from his, because he had access to a part of the human experience that many had walled themselves off from. His personal pain was an advantage.” The Obstacle Is The Way p. 130
It is inevitable that certain things in life will cut you open like a knife. Having a strong will is a critical discipline because it allows you to think, act and adjust to a world that is unpredictable. In every situation we can:
Always prepare ourselves for more difficult times
Always accept what we’re unable to change
Always manage our expectations
Always persevere
Always learn to love our fate and what happens to us
Always protect our inner self, retreat into ourselves
Always submit to a greater, larger cause
Always remind ourselves of our own mortality
The Obstacle Is The Way p. 133
Apply It
*Do you have a large goal you have always put off from trying to achieve because it seems too big? Try applying “the process” that Coach Nick Saban has preached for years. Break your goal down into small pieces that you can focus on every day.
*The next time something bad happens to you, as yourself the question, “what if this was a gift?” By reframing a negative experience, you will soon realize that there is a positive that can be found in any seemingly negative situation.
*When you find yourself in a difficult situation, try to focus on the present. It can be a waste of mental energy to replay the past numerous times in your head or worry about the future.