What’s In It For Me?
What is the key to achieving our goals? Most people think of characteristics like hard work, persistence, and focus. All those attributes are true, but they are all really just a by-product of one’s mindset. In other words, it’s one’s mindset that leads to hard work, persistence, and focus. That is the premise for Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck’s influential book Mindset. Although I highly encourage you to read the book, below are key concepts that will help you reach your potential, including identifying the two different types of mindsets, how your mindset can change your behavior which leads to different outcomes, and why it is important for teachers/parents/coaches to instill the correct mindset in kids.
The Big Idea
A fixed mindset comes from the belief that your qualities are carved in stone – who you are is who you are, period. Characteristics such as intelligence, personality and creativity are fixed traits, rather than something that can be developed. On the contrary, a growth mindset comes from the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through effort. Yes, people differ greatly – in aptitude, talents, interests, or temperaments – but everyone can change and grow through application and experience. This is not saying that with motivation and education, anyone can be anything, but rather that peoples’ potential is unknown and can be developed through passion, work and training. As an example from my life, I had the limiting belief that I was not a good public speaker (a fixed mindset). Recognizing my own fixed mindset, I decided to enroll in Toastmasters to practice my public speaking and over time improved. This example demonstrates how a subtle shift in one’s mindset can lead to a different outcome.
Key Concept #1
Mindsets Shape Behavior
“The fixed mindset makes you concerned with how you’ll be judged; the growth mindset makes you concerned with improving.” Mindset p. 13
How does this simple mindset change your behavior? Having a fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. Criticism is seen as an attack on your character and to be avoided. Having a growth mindset encourages learning and effort. If you truly believe you can improve at something, you will be much more driven to learn and practice. Criticism is seen as valuable feedback and openly embraced.
The fixed mindset is not a distinct label. In other words, a person could have a fixed mindset attitude with a specific area of their life (i.e. intelligence), but have a growth mindset orientation in other areas. The key is to be able to change your perspective when you notice the fixed mindset taking over and focus on the process of learning instead of simply results.
It is easy to see how fixed mindset attitudes became ingrained in our society. Accomplished author and New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell has suggested that as a society we value natural, effortless accomplishment over achievement through effort. We all think our heroes have superhuman abilities that led them inevitably toward their greatness. From the fixed mindset point of view, effort is only for people with deficiencies. Since the idea of trying and still failing, or leaving yourself without excuses, is the worst fear within the fixed mindset, it creates inaction within people. In the growth mindset, it’s inconceivable to want something badly, to think you have a chance to achieve it, and then do nothing about it.
Ultimately the notion that success is about effort and failure is an opportunity to learn is not a new concept, and many people with a fixed mindset know this. Unfortunately, people with a fixed mindset struggle because their belief in fixed traits is telling them something entirely different: “that success is about being more gifted than others, that failure does measure you, and that effort is for those who can’t make it on talent.” Mindset p. 44. Once people begin to recognize the power of changing perspective, they can slowly transition from a fixed to a growth mindset.
Key Concept #2
Facing Adversity
One of the most important aspects of Dweck’s research is what our mindset says about our approach to face challenges. In a fixed mindset, you avoid challenging situations that might lead to failure because success depends upon protecting and promoting your set of fixed qualities and concealing your deficiencies. If you do fail, you focus on rationalizing the failure rather than learning from it and developing your capabilities. With a growth mindset, you focus on learning and development rather than failure and actively pursue the types of challenges that will likely lead to growth.
The book provides several examples of professional athletes that have exemplified a growth mindset to propel their success. Within the context of sports, a fixed mindset person would think that to be good at sports, you need to be naturally gifted, while a growth mindset would argue that how good you are at sports will always improve if you work harder at it. There’s no denying Michael Jordan was a naturally gifted athlete, but he was also perhaps the hardest worker in all of professional sports and exemplified the growth mindset in many instances. Jordan was cut from his varsity high school basketball team, was not recruited to play at his first-choice college (North Carolina State), and was not the top pick in the NBA draft. Having a growth mindset, Jordan used adversity as motivation, and continually worked to improve his game.
Key Concept #3
Business: Mindset and Leadership
In his book Good to Great, author Jim Collins studied characteristics that distinguished thriving companies. Although there were several important factors, the one that was absolutely key was the type of leader that led the company. The most effective leaders were not overly charismatic or have large egos, but were self-effacing people who constantly asked questions and had the ability to look at their own failures, while maintaining conviction they would succeed in the end. Effective leaders are not constantly trying to prove they are better than others, they don’t take claim for other employee’s contributions, and they don’t undermine employees to make them feel powerful. Instead, they surround themselves with the most talented people they can find and are constantly trying to improve.
Jeff Skilling, CEO of Enron, was an incredibly smart person. Unfortunately, he used his brainpower not just to learn, but to intimidate others employees. Anyone who disagreed with him was just not bright enough to “get it.” When Wall Street analysts tried to press Skilling to give more detail in his explanations, he treated them as though they were stupid. Skilling had so much faith in his ideas, he believed Enron should be able to proclaim profits as soon as he or his people had the idea they might lead to profits. We all know how that story ends, but it is an extreme example of how the fixed mindset can undermine an organization.
Key Concept #4
Mindset and the Impact on Relationships
“If we need to work at it, there’s something seriously wrong with our relationship.” Mindset p. 150
Noted marriage authority Aaron Beck believes that the quote above is one of the most destructive beliefs about relationships. As mentioned earlier, someone with a fixed mindset believes their personal traits are fixed. But in relationships, two more elements enter the equation-your partner and the relationship itself. Now you can have a fixed mindset about three things: 1) You can believe your qualities are fixed 2) Your partner’s qualities are fixed 3) The relationship’s qualities are fixed (i.e. that the relationship is inherently good or bad, meant-to-be or not meant-to-be). The growth mindset says all three elements can be developed, meaning that you, your partner, and the relationship are capable of growth and change. Many people want their relationship to feel special, like it was meant to be, but there are two major problems with the fixed mindset in relationships:
If you have to work at it, it wasn’t meant to be: People with the fixed mindset in a relationship expect everything good to happen automatically. In a growth mindset, a good lasting relationship comes from effort and form working through inevitable differences. People with a fixed mindset believe their partner should know what the other partner thinks, feels, and needs, almost as if mind reading were possible.
Problems indicate character flaws: People with a fixed mindset believe problems are a sign of deep-seated flaws. But just as there are no great achievements in life without setbacks, there are no great relationships without conflicts and problems along the way. When a person with a fixed mindset talks about their conflicts, they assign blame, typically to their partner. What becomes even more destructive is they assign blame to a character flaw, and since the problem comes from fixed traits, it can’t be solved. People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, have the ability to see past their partners’ imperfections and still think they have a satisfying relationship.
Applying a growth mindset to all phases of a relationship lead to significantly healthier relationships. In finding a potential partner, having the perspective that you are looking for someone to grow with and learn from will lead to more lasting and meaningful relationships, as opposed to looking for someone to give you validation. You can probably think of a friend or two that is in a relationship where one partner worships the other or is in need of constant validation.
Facing rejection in relationships is never easy, but having the perspective that you learned something about yourself, your ex, and the qualities you want in your future partner will make moving on significantly easier. Unfortunately, people with the fixed mindset seek revenge against their partner or sulk in their sorrows, believing rejection is a permanent judgment against their character.
Key Concept #5
Instilling Growth Mindsets In Children
Where do our mindsets originate? We were all born with a growth mindset. After all, babies don’t stop trying to learn to walk because they have fallen down too many times.
Mindsets are, however, often instilled in us from a young age from teachers, parents or other role models. It is imperative that adults praise effort and process, not intellect, talent or outcomes. For instance, if a parent or teacher tells a child who earned an A on an exam “You’re so smart, great job getting an A!” the child will be more likely to associate intelligence as a fixed trait. Inevitably at some point the child will do poorly on a test and if they believe intelligence is a fixed trait they will be more likely to lose confidence or give up when they experience adversity because their identity is being compromised. A compliment that cultivates a growth mindset would state something to the effect of: “Great job with all that studying. Your hard work and focus is paying off.” A student that hears those words will be more likely to believe their intelligence can be increased through effort and will be better equipped to use adversity in the future as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Hopefully you are able to distinguish the difference between a fixed and growth mindset, realize why having a growth mindset is important and have a few ideas how you can instill a growth mindset in kids. To be clear, the book is NOT claiming you can do anything you put your mind to, but what it is claiming is that by changing from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, you will be much more likely to reach your full potential in all aspects of life.
Apply It
- In what areas of your life are limiting beliefs (i.e. a fixed mindset) holding you back? Think about how shifting your perspective to a growth mindset might motivate you to take action or do something outside your comfort zone. Remember, from a growth mindset perspective, a challenging situation is just another opportunity to learn and grow.
- The root cause of perfectionism is often anxiety related to the fear of failure. By shifting to a growth mindset, adversity or failure is just one step in the process to personal growth.
- Understanding the difference between a growth and fixed mindset may seem simple, but applying the principles from the book are not easy because it will be a new way of thinking. However, if you truly viewed challenges as an opportunity for growth, imagine how your life would change.
- Is there something in your past that you think measured or labeled you as a person? A test score? Being fired from a job? Being rejected? Focus on that event and all the emotions that go along with it. Now put yourself in a growth-mindset perspective and look honestly at your role in the situation, but understand that it doesn’t define your intelligence or personality. Instead, ask: What can I learn from this experience? How can I use it as a basis for personal growth?